I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
