i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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