he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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