But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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