I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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