I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i've created a new STD.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
