im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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