Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
