i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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