Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
