Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
