sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
