uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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