I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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