He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
