Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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