you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
