We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
