were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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