what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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