i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
