I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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