Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
