? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
