Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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