I want to make a zoo with you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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