Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
