do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
