I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
