What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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