what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
