nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
