My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
