She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
