And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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