Is it because I queefed?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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