Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
