now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
