The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
