Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
