Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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