I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What a dumb baby whore.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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