This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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