TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
