Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
