just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
