How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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