cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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