God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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