Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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